Body Language

Body Language
Body language is usually more informative than words. Words by other people usually tell you what other people WANT to say, while body posture usually tells, what they really feel and think. They express for example emotions, thoughts and how they think. It is easier to lie with words, than with body language.

Consequences of Body Language
Psychologists have found out that when people try to simulate body language, they change many other things. By walking more upright, people may really feel more confident. When body language is changed, people will respond different to these changes. Body language, therefore, has consequences for the interaction with other people.



Misunderstandings

There are several misunderstandings about body language:

1. In former days, people thought that body language provided the key to complete understanding of the intentions of a person. For example, according to this theory, a person was supposed to lie when he was scratching his nose. Obviously, it may also be a reason to scratch the nose. Today, we know that things are more complicated.

2. Another misunderstanding is, that speech and body language are intricately connected. Human behavior is a combination of speech and body language.

3. It is also a misconception that body language can be used to manipulate other people. Exaggerated behavior or body language in order to impress someone, will easily be detected as simulated behavior due to unnatural behavioral features. The other person will adapt to that by ignoring that behavior.

4. Interpreting Body Language
Interpretation of body language is quite difficult, since a single movement may be ambiguous. A particular movement may have multiple meanings, depending on the situation and depending on other movements and gestures.

5. Influences on Body Language
Body language is heavily influenced by cultural background and by education. As a consequence, correct interpretation of body language of a person requires knowledge about the background of that person.


6. Personal Characteristics
Body language also has many personal characteristics. Scratching the nose may be due to stress for one person, but may be a sign of feeling comfortable for another person. Due to this ambiguities, interpretation of body language is difficult, even though gestures and postures are common for most people.


7. Rituals
A more accurate impression about a person can be obtained by observation of a sequence of behavioral patterns. Such a sequence of behaviors is called a ritual. Roughly speaking, rituals are approximately the same for all people.


Interpreting Body Language

Good interpretation of body language requires careful observation. Good observation may reveal a lot of information. It requires observation of multiple movements, but also observation of speech. Not only what is said is relevant, but more even so it is important how things are said. If a person speaks rapidly and irregularly, it may reveal that he is nervous.
1. Good knowledge about interpretation of body language, gives the ability to predict how a person will behave in particular conditions and how they feel. It will also give a better understanding of yourself and may help you in communicating with other people



Meeting People
When you meet a person for the first time, the first 10 seconds will give an impression, which to a large extent will determine whether you will like this person or not. In these first ten seconds, you will notice impressions like nervousness, seriousness, etc. These first seconds will also influence to a large extent the rest of the conversation and any further contacts. Therefore the first impression is very important.

Eyes

An important factor in the first contact is the eyes. The eyes should look at the person. If you want to impress the person, you should open your eyes slightly more than usual, since raising the eye brows gives people the impression that they are welcome. After the first "hello", you should maintain eye contact, which prevents the impression of nervousness with the other person. You should also smile and look friendly.


First Meeting

During the first meeting, it is good to look carefully at the other person. If he or she disapproves your behavior, you should adapt your behavior. Also, behavior should be appropriate for the situation. For example, a firm and long hand shaking is quite usual for meeting a friend you have not seen for a long time, but quite inappropriate on a funeral.



Listening

While listening to another person, posture is very important. Even when you are not really interested in the story it is polite to listen with an attitude of interest.



Showing Interest

The best way to show interest is to listen very well and to refrain from any other thoughts not related to the topic. Refrain from other behaviors like moving on your chair, rotating your head in various directions. Also, you can express interest by head nodding at the proper times. This gives the impression that you agree and that you share the opinion of the other person.

Showing Empathy

Try to show empathy with the speaker. When the speaker laughs and you look a bit dully, it doesn't encourage the speaker to continue. So when the speaker laughs, it is polite to join in the laugh. And when the speaker gets angry, then show empathy with him to nod shorter and quicker.


Talking to someone

When you are talking to a person, you would like him to listen. By using body language the listener becomes more involved in the conversation and therefore, this is a way to reach your goal. Body language also adds new information to the speech signal alone. This is easy to check by comparing speech on a video-tape with and without the visual part of the video signal.

1. Using body language while talking

An important point in speech is to look at the person you are talking to. This keep the listener involved in your conversation.
Body language adds to that by gestures, pitch and mimics to emphasize the importance of your words. For example, when you have a sad story you can speak slowly looking sadly. And you can speak faster and at a higher pitch with a big smile for a funny story. However, exaggerated gestures may have the opposite effect. Acquiring the appropriate body language is a culturally dependent task, which has to be learned while growing up to adulthood.



Traits

Body language can be used to analyze someone's character. However, this requires some training. It requires to focus on the total behavior of that person, not on gestures which are made rarely.
We will give three examples of qualities of character, which have a clear relationship with body-language:
• Each person has a preferred sensory system. For example in determining the upright vertical people can use visual or vestibular information. People fall in two categories, they either rely mostly on visual or mostly on vestibular information. In communication between people, persons who mainly focus on visual information tend to have the head upright with slightly stressed shoulders.
People, who tend to focus more on speech, tend to have the head slightly bent forward and a little sideward. If they are deeply involved they tend to move their lips as if they are expressing their thoughts. People, focussing more on proprioceptive information, tend to lean (for example to a wall or chair) and move in a relaxed way.
The difference between these people is their way of behavior in inter-personal communication.
• Another difference in characters is related to being introvert or extrovert. People differ markedly in many aspects. Extrovert people are more energetic and have a more spontaneous behavior. Introvert people are less likely to seek contact with other people and some may even avoid it. Introvert people will prefer quiet places where they can be alone, whereas an extrovert person will like the company of many other people.
• Another striking difference in characters is related to the fact whether people are satisfied with their situation or not. A natural posture of a person, who is satisfied is straight, looking happy and self-confident. Someone, who is not satisfied with his situation, will act slowly, looking tired and somewhat sadly.
People, who are not satisfied with themselves, find it more difficult to make new contacts with other people or to continue a relationship for a long time.


The way you breath

By breathing you not only provides oxygen for the body. Breathing also reflects how you feel. When you are nervous or angry you will breath faster, and when you are sad you often breath in jerks. Like when you are crying.
Your breathings are also signs: when you want to interrupt a speaking person you can do that by inhaling loudly and shortly, a loud sigh means that you understand the thing that is being told to you.


Shrugged shoulders

You can recognize stressed shoulders by the fact that they are a bit shrugged, which does make the head look smaller. The meaning of the signal comes from crouching in dangerous situations.
The meaning of this posing depends on the combination. In combination with big eyes it means that someone is concerned about something that is going to happen. In combination with a face that is turned away it means that the person wants to be left alone. An introvert person has nearly always those stressed shoulders.


Difference in level of both shoulders

By most of the people the left and the right shoulder are of the same height. When they are not, it often means that someone is doubting about what he is going to do. With this movement we simulate (unconscious) that we are weighing the possibilities. Sometimes when someone makes this movement, his head will move a little like he is looking above.


Crossed arms

There are a lot of different explanations of the meaning of crossed arms. When someone has crossed arms and he is shaking his head it means that he does not agree with you. But he can also cross his arms when he is frightened, then his arms give him some protection. Another option is that he is feeling cold and he is trying to hold his body-warmth with him. When someone is sitting in a chair with his arms crossed, it indicates that the person is relaxed.


Making a fist from your hands

A fist is a sign for aggression. It comes from hitting someone. But it is seldom used with a threatening meaning. Most of the time it is used to indicate that you are angry or irritated.


Holding the hand before the mouth

Holding a hand before your mouth means that you are hiding something. In western countries it is impolite to belch or to hiccup. So someone can hold his hand before his mouth to hide that he is hiccuping. When someone puts his hand before his mouth when he is talking it indicates that he is saying something or has said something that he did not want to say.


Making the eyes look larger

The meaning of making the eyes look larger can be that someone is astonished. In that case he opens his mouth a little. It can also mean that he is happy or that he likes the thing that is talked about. And because it means that you like something, you can use it on purpose. It pleases people when you have your eyes opened a bit further.
When people open their eyes a bit further it can also mean that they are unhappily surprised. Then they will frown their eyebrows.


Raising the eyebrows

Raising the eyebrows shortly means that people are surprised. They raise their eyebrows to allow them to look better. But it can also mean that somebody is looking at you, and that he likes you.


Raised forehead

A raised forehead often means that someone is remembering something he has seen. This often happens very quickly. It can also be a sign of a certain emotion. It is a biological reflex that you raise your forehead a little when you are crying so the tears can move easier.


Pursed lips

When somebody purses his lips it means that he has to make a decision and is thinking about that. Sometimes he also moves his lips, like he is saying the possibilities. When somebody purses his lips, he often looks a bit upward.


A big smile

A smile indicates, of course, that someone is happy. But sometimes a smile is not "real", someone can smile to please others. But you can recognize an "unreal" smile by looking at the rest of his face. Another thing that indicates that the smile is fake is that a fake smile goes on longer and disappears slower.


Crossed legs

When someone has crossed his legs it means that he is relaxed and self-confident. Very often people cross their legs and put their highest foot in the direction of the speaker. In this case it means that you are listening very carefully.


Legs wide apart

Sitting straddle-legged is a comfortable way of sitting. When people are sitting in this way they are feeling safe.
Sitting straddle-legged indicates that you are self-confident. Therefore leaders of a group often sit in this way, it forces others to give him a wide berth.


Twisted feet

Because feet are not seen by anyone when sitting at a table, people often use their feet to indicate their emotions.
Twisting the feet continiously indicates that a person is nervous or concerned. This can also mean that a person is stressed or angry and that he don't want to show that to everybody.